LOVE LET ME GO

In Reminiscence (Written by me)

Finally wrote something new, if anyone fancies a read. Lemme know what you think. For a possible new Conceptions song :)

In Reminiscence

Written by Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban

——-

Another sleepless night, tired every day, because I thought of you again. Take me back to our yesterdays, forgive me for all my past mistakes, and as I fall asleep again, I ask you please don’t leave, take my heart from my sleeve, hold my hand and please just stay with me. But you always let go, you always pull away, you look me in my eyes and say goodbye for the last time, It’s always the last time. Well I’m sorry you couldn’t stay. Farewell, please keep me in mind, now I’m trapped inside this memory, from my past I just can’t escape. Old photographs begin to blur and grey, young love hurts at first then fades away. I feel better, now you’ve moved away, I’m still bitter, but I’ve learned from my mistakes. I guess at least one of us has changed. You stole me away with your eyes that day, I should have known from the start, My heart didn’t stand a chance. I climb, I fall like no one sees at all. I scream, I cry but no one hears at all. I live, I die and no one cares at all. So if you can see the pain in my eyes, And you can hear the pain in my voice, Then you can feel the pain in my heart, So please, please, please, hold me close, And take me home tonight, take me home tonight. Just as long as you know, for as long as I live, I will always miss you, I will always love you. For as long as my heart beats, For as long as my lungs breathe, You will always have a part of me, you will always have a part of me.

21 ♥

132 ♥

Regression
Written by Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban
——————
Drowning, familiar feelings of certain misery, my tears flood the room, standing, all alone in a dreadful dream, I have lost all I had to lose. She stares back with a blank expression and strange eyes, she says ’there is no room for you in my life, I’m beginning to believe all of their lies,’ Everyone wishes for you, darling, no one can have you tonight, take this heart, it only beats for you, hold it tight. Another sleepless night, rain pours down on your window, dancing to the beating of my heart, lying awake and I still can’t close my eyes, why can’t you be by my side? I tried to rip through all the pages, and replace them with comforting words, I never left a single footstep covered in my mistakes, this time I had really changed. Your ghost leaves trails of doubt dragged along side your commitment you struggled to tame. Why was our love not wounded by our own hands, but by theirs, I bet it makes them glad. If our love, cannot bring our hands together to cure our wounds, what is the use of love at all? She gave me my stability, still breathless yet still broken, my heart lacks the ability. The sin of my youth is forever catching up to me, I guess her wishes still do not wish for me to be happy. As I pass from the room, the door is already closed as she reaches it, ’Pale with anguish, bewildered, helpless, she sways like a plant in the water. Her hands, outstretched, seem to tremble in the air like blossoms in the wind. Then she flings herself down beside a sofa and buries her face.’ She cries away her regret, her shame, hides it from the world, I still wonder if you’re still crying out my name.

56 ♥

Transcendence
——————-
This love guides me back to the shore, the sun no longer shines apon the waves anymore, I’ve been lost for so long, I’ve been found waiting in the dark, and now I am sure, These eyes had never seen a face so beautiful before, the glistening of your eyes, of your lips, made my heart sink to the floor, since our lips met, roses blossom and no longer wither anymore, Old feelings replaced, gone, forgotten, new feelings felt, met, I’ve never been graced with before. No night time city skylines, sunsets or sunrises could ever be as beautiful as your eyes. The way these eyes align, it’s always a first time, I’ve fallen and I’ll find this feeling will never die. For everytime you are by my side, I know in my heart, you’ll stay with me tonight, leave for a while, You’ll always return to these arms, return to this smile, this will never be the last time, this love will last a life time.

5 ♥

Refusal
Written by Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban
———-
Wasted time, wasting away, wishing your memory would not stay, wishing I could move away, why does everything broken still remain? 2 years have come to this day, I never thought back then, I’d still feel so empty. I’ve become a bitter man, dragging myself along the bottom, hoping on your downfall, Losing all sense of reality, feeling alone when I have company, familiar faces with sympathy mean nothing to me, I don’t want your pity, you’ll always be happier than I’ll ever be, I’m living for endless dreams, all hope has left home, my future has been put to sleep. My smile is in denial, my heart is in exile. I’m so sorry, I can’t bring you closer, I still need my closure, please don’t reach out your hand, I have no room left for your heart to land.

8 ♥

Infatuation
Lyrics written by Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban
—————-
I am never alone, I have regret to keep me company, I still feel your breath when the wind does not blow. The loss of your love, your warm embrace that wrapped it’s arms around my heart and soul, this weight of loss will only grow. I wake up with heavy eyes and a haunted mind, the rain falls hard from unforgiving skies, reminders just crashing on my window, I’m lost for words, my hands are shaking without nothing to hold, and the cold keeps shivering through my bones. There is no love left within a man standing alone with a heart that has sunk and froze. I can’t stop myself from shaking, I can’t stop my heart from aching. It’s so tough, why am I still in love? I question everyday before my tired mind lays down to sleep, every night I close my eyes, I see your face, you’re in my heart, you’re in my dreams, you are forever, haunting me. Now I see why you did the things you did, you still gave me the best, still make me feel as if there will never be anyone else again, but it’s not the same, your kiss has changed. You tried your best to make sure I will never forget, I can always pretend, but I’m trying not to remember.

6 ♥

Bridges
Written by Adam Woroniecki & Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban
————
The confusion was around me, like nothing ever had become, of understanding, faces, names, and just walking down the path, to understand life isn’t there. Thrown to pieces, a broken youth, full of flaws that can’t describe. I’m lost, so please help me find someone to be there, even though there’s no wind or rain, or that rains is fear. I can’t even describe this shame, if I could have an escape, I’d throw away this pain. But it’s just another day, going by, without realizing things have changed. Everything’s the same.
So the day has come and passed away, the sun has set and I am left here to remain. Stranded alone in my own mind waiting for things to change, trying hard to accept the fact nothing good in this life stays the same. So it’s no wonder why I prefer to walk these streets alone at night, there is nothing but silence in the air tonight, these streets are never as crowded as the hallways in my mind. Too many thoughts to regress on, to many bridges left to burn that I’d rather leave behind. Walking down familiar pavements I once stumbled down but now I’m suddenly afraid. I see one shadow chasing me, and another running away. It must be the wrongs and rights of my personality. Can’t even run away, there is never a right or wrong choice to make.
I know there isn’t much in life to offer me, I thought there wasn’t there for me to see, and there you are, staring back at me, the girl I used to know. I’ve lost everything, I used to know, and nothing feels the same. I want to know why, your not in my life, anymore, your just a ghost, following me to the past. Please wake up, because I can hear you screaming, but your tounges soft and your not breathing, if only this pain could help healing. I would fall under your grace, because I know it hurts for me and you to be alone, and your not with your hearts gone cold. Lost another past, a victim of love, is all I can say this will end, as soon as I know, when to defend everything in my soul. I can’t help but hate this situation, I can’t move, I’m so insecure, but that’s what you’ve made me, and I hate you because of that
I’m finding it, so hard to let go, I’m trying but, I can’t help but hold on. So hold my hand and hold me close, and for one last time, look me in the eyes, and tell me this really is, goodbye.

2 ♥

Desperation
Written by Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban
—————
No I’m not happy, and no I’m not okay, I wear a fake smile to hide my shame. I keep my head down to hide my face. I sit and pretend this feeling will end, just to make it through the day. I need your shine to cover up the rain. And just like the rain we can only fall for so long, in the end we’ll fade away together, Nothing but our love will last forever. I need your hand so I don’t feel alone again, I need your heart to take away this pain. I need your love to hold me still before I fade away. I need you to understand I have changed. I need your trust so we can try again, I need you, because we are the same. In the end we’ll fade away together, nothing but our love will last forever.

7 ♥

The Warm Embrace of Heaven
Written by Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban
————-
I have walked through deserted streets and crowds of ghosts and failed kings. I have bowed to empty thrones and hoped for a sign that destined failure is not all life brings. Falling to my knees as my fear is crippling, I am never alone as long as my heart beat still sings. Saviour, where have you been? Your eyes have been fixed on me, failure is all you have let me seen. I can only wait for so long, heaven knows I have tried, lend me your eyes so I can open up the skies. I can only run for so far, bring me back home to endless time, the struggle is too hard to make her realise. My hope is lost in the depths of this world, my faith is far too lost to try and find, I had it all to hold, now all I’ve had has been carried away by the tide. I needed you to understand, it was my eyes she looked into when she smiled, but her lips remain still now her heart has drowned in the tears she has cried. Please don’t let her sink any longer, part the skies and bring her your shine. Please give her a chance to live as I have died inside over and over far to many times. Let her embrace the happiness she may find, leave me alone to find the light, I’ve become so lost in both of your eyes, let me go, let her shine.
——-
‘I have walked through crowds of failed kings’ - Credit to Jake Sykes <3
Photo ‘Australian Sunset’ by Shanai Lee

1 ♥

Transcend
Written by Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban
————-
Pacing familiar roads I’ve walked down alone before, remembering heights I climbed then judging the distance of the fall. All I can see is your face staring back at me, and how you learned to say goodbye with your eyes. It’s a good thing I don’t trust your obvious betraying stare anymore. Now this struggle of loneliness is beginning to take it’s toll, it’s tough but in the end we’ll always stand alone together, but I will stand so tall. As I close my eyes it’s just as if you never even left at all. These arms cannot reach the sky without your arms around me anymore. My feet do not leave the ground now I’m too afraid to lose sight of the shore. I am to weak without the strength of your love to pick me up from the floor, There is nothing for me here anymore. You cannot hold me like you did before. I’ve had to lose it all and wait around, Just for you to know I can’t walk alone no more, but you promised you would come back to me, just like all the other promises made before. You’ll never understand my selfishness, if I can’t be happy then why should you? You’ll never understand this bitterness, constantly wishing for a second chance every 11:11, just to overcome my loneliness. Everyday is a chance to prove myself, but I’m constantly faced and met with your ignorance. I can only hope when you die alone and rot away, you’ll never understand peacefulness.

8 ♥

Refuse
Written by Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban
————
Life is finding the means to be, and what it means to me, It used to be to love and be loved, but it always meant more to me. My heart has been there before, but love doesn’t live here anymore. Your heart once beated for me, and now you are unsure. I’m sorry your heart beats for something so much more. So I’ll hide myself away behind this bone cage forever more, I will always refuse to fall.

372 ♥

Written by Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban & Adam Woroniecki
Blank Screens & Empty Streets
————
Staring at a blank screen, that epitomizes me. I’m staring at the ground, with my friends staring back around. Reality is near, and I can smell the consequence of the future. But nothing can remind me, of what’s going to follow. I stared at the faces of people trying to reach perfection, but ended up in a shallow grave, four foot under, with a note on my chest. “It wasn’t meant to be”. And everything is downhill from here, I can sense it. Never give up faith, but I never had it in the first place, I never had closure. I never thought of life so shallow.
Thoughtless and empty minds, long walks, day dreams at night, a bottle in his left hand, a photograph of you in his right always clenched tight, regressing thoughts prays on his mind, regretting all the mistakes he made as he clings his sheets at night. All past truths set to expire, regressing memories of falling in love with liars. One hand in his pocket, one hand over his heart, both as empty as eachother, looking for a direction in life with no signs of where to start. Wishing for your wings to lift me up, this anchor of loss holds me down, I’ve become so weak to fight, falling asleep with this bitter emptiness to keep me company on these cold dark nights.
He thought of his own mind, was a ticking time bomb in disguise, I saw him fall backwards, I tried to help him back to life. With a ciggerete in one hand, and a heart played so many times. Coming to terms with love loss, and whatever his heart desired. He ran a thousand miles, through woods, acres full of ghosts, haunting and betraying, he never knew the worst. The ending is near, I can smell it on my footsteps, but to start with , I’m not afraid, of this cliched overload, dramatic charade. I’ll wait for the ending, but I’m not near, but yet so far. I think I’m falling down, and repeating what was in the past, I thought this pain wouldn’t last.

2 ♥

Reaching
Lyrics written by: Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban
————
I am, reaching, out to find, The words to define the the feeling inside, When my cries are declined by the skies of the night time, The meaning entwined is blind but it is still there in my mind,I once had and angel I used to call mine, once apon a time,She fell from the sky, I was weak and she was there to hold me on cold winter nights,As my eyes grew heavy, I wonder if she too was waiting for a love to find.

1 ♥

I Am Rose
Lyrics written by Mark ‘Mitzey’ Grabban
————
I am broken, a lonely soul, a fading life line, My heart, a clock that is only wasting time, A withered rose, left in the winter, froze without sunshine,I am broken, left alone in the silence, No one there to hear the words I have spoken, I am lost, I cannot find my way back,For I am frozen, from mistakes made on this path I have chosen, No direction, it is hopless, I can no longer stay focused, No man regrets a pleasure, but it’s these regrets that have broke us,How to make our own choices now that fate no longer trusts us?

2 ♥